Dance Class Recaps

Girl are you ready? It’s gonna be a long (class)

I finally listened to the desperate pleas of my future self and didn’t eat or drink to excess on Sunday. I still had pizza and beer (it’s football season! It’s mandatory!), but I kept my portions reasonable. Was my reward feeling strong, rested, and light on Monday for ballet class? No; my reward was a bunch of stupid cramps.

You know how they say one of thing things that can relieve cramping is exercise? I know every woman who ever reads that in some overly-cheerful article is like, uh no thanks, I’m good. But if you can somehow get to a standing position and get yourself to your exercise of choice, it really does help. If possible, I will take that first day off and rest, but if I had something previously scheduled (like ballet class) I will push through. And it does always help with the cramps and fatigue and irritability! Always!

Well anyway. The first few barre exercises were pretty uncomfortable. Besides the usual rundown of symptoms, my hips were tight and sore for some unknown reason. Maybe too much walking over the weekend? Am I too old and feeble to even walk? Port de bras forward and back felt awful. I felt as stretchy as a…something. I felt like something you can technically stretch but it’s slow and painful. A Starburst. A cold starburst. With cramps.

It was a small class again. We were all sort of intermediate-and-rusty, or still beginners. So we were given lots of slow, simple combinations with emphasis on turnout and using the feet. It was pretty much perfect for how I was feeling. The only exception would be frappes, which involved three super-fast single frappes to the side. Is there anything more awkward than doing frappes faster than your technique can handle? What is it about flexing your foot that makes everything collapse? Look at me in ballet class, so graceful, as I wildly jerk my entire butt to and fro.

I’ve grown to love a really pretty rondes de jambes combo she has us do. We do the plie-port de bras extension move, which I feel like is always done twice, so it’s a little tricky to remember to do it only once. After the plie extension, we cloche our working leg forward and back, do the plie again and then developpe to the front and back with a plie. Then regular rondes de jambes and reverse. It’s so pretty! I love it.

We also did some (b-b-b-b-)breakdowns, like doing only glissades across the floor, and then a bunch of glissade-jetes. The adagio was very pretty, with a nice port de bras at the beginning, and mercifully quick developpes. It was seriously the perfect class for my secret struggles! Thanks, apparently psychic ballet teacher.

I don’t have much else to say. I always forget to mention the instrumental versions of pop songs that both teachers play. But they’re decent pop songs, from all over time and space: I’ve heard Cranberries, Lady Gaga, Coldplay, Adele. It’s nice, it’s different. I like most pop music anyway. For the most part. ANYWAY I’ve been wanting to mention it because one of the songs is an instrumental ballet-class take on “I’ll Make Love to You” by Boyz II Men and it. Is. Hilarious. The first time I heard it I almost blurted out, “Is this Boyz II Men?? Omg lol” but I didn’t and the moment passed. Nobody else has ever mentioned it or commented on it. So we just do these Very Serious adagios to Boys II Men and I want to crack up every time.

Throw your clothes (passe)

On the floor (developpe croise devant)

I’m gonna take (passe)

My clothes (arabesque)

Off too (fouette)

Just me? Okay

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